Paradoks Orang Tua dan Anak
Dua kali saya dibuat tertegun oleh gadis kecil ini. Pertama, di depan rumah balon tempat ia naik turun dan main perosotan, dan yang kedua di tenda tempat penyelenggaraan lomba menguncir rambut yang terletak percis di samping panggung utama.
Gadis itu, yang masih sering merengek minta digendong atau disuapi, ternyata, tanpa disadari, sudah beranjak semakin besar. Ada perasaan aneh yang muncul di benak saya ketika melihatnya cepat tumbuh menjadi dewasa. Semacam ketidakrelaan dan ketakutan yang akut.
Melihat semua kenyataan itu, mau tidak mau saya harus mengamini kata-kata Bruce Feiler tentang Paradoks menjadi orang tua dan anak. Dalam Council of Dads, Feiler menulis, “ … Even as we come to feel we can’t live without you, our primary job is to prepare you to live without us. Our task, in a sense, is to make ourselves obsolete. As babies, you arrive entirely dependent; we then spend the coming decades trying to make you independent, so you can thrive on your own, without us.”
Masih menurut Feiler, “ … if the paradox of being a parent is that we must make ourselves unneeded, the paradox of being a child is that you discover how much you need your parents only after you think you don’t. You spend your whole lives making yourself independent. You go forth on your own. And at exactly the moment you stop listening to us, you finally hear what we’ve been saying all along.”
Akhirnya, sama seperti yang diungkapkan Feiler, sampai saat itu tiba, I’ll be waiting. Even if you can’t hear me, I’ll be whispering in your ear. Even if you can’t feel me, I’ll be gently pushing you on your own.
Take trips, my girl. Take chances. Take off!.
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